Firstly, a quick note of apology for the lack of any report last week. Here's a selection of excuses – pick your own favourite (un)likely scenario.
A) I had a busy week after missing a tram
B) I wasn't feeling groovy and couldn't be bothered
C) I got raita's block at the curry house
D) There was an emergin' sea (of other things to do)
So for the record, congratulations to Ug (1st) and Tom (2nd) who (depending on who's reading this at the time) either:
A) Played very well
B) Bluffed very well
C) Got lucky AF
D) Had some divine intervention
Which segues nicely into this week's report...
The Promised Land
God looked down at Her namesake's poker league, and She saw that it was good. But Man maketh problems, for it was too chilly for comfort, and the spectre of the bad old days of 'pay to play' hung heavy in the air of Zizkov. She remembered that there was no rake in the garden of Eden and sent her servant savant, Robert, to lead the Holdem disciples to the promised land of only tipping the dealer.
And Lo, Robert done good! After wandering through the wilderness of a small shopping area for 40 dazed seconds, the PGL found itself in a new home, with all manna of fine, fairly-priced food, ample heating, and even a view of the park – heavenly! The genesis of a new era in PGL history.
FYI, here's Sunday's menu
Reasonably high steaks, with slices of luck, nacho dill, and chips in biblical proportions
Unlike our new home, the game itself offered little in the way of anything different. The same old tales of whoa, a plague on your pocket rockets, the pestilence of low-stack players not going quietly, and occasionally not going at all.
Tom hit Broadway, before Oskar closed his show with a flush on the river. All these annoying bloody rivers, eh? I blame global warming.
Then last week's victor, Ug, got taken out by Jake with a hand I can't recall – it must have been very nondescript, yes? Sean had earlier flopped a straight flush, but that was his entire allocation of good fortune for the day. When he pushed with A6, Jake looked down at his own mini-mes - pocket Jakes. Any semblance of a prayer for Sean was crushed on the flop (JJ9) – I mean, what ARE the odds of quads?
Spoiler alert: the Oskar goes to... Hadley! (well, his remaining chips did when she hit 2 pairs). But God works in mysterious ways, apparently, as Hadley was out next to the game's serial-scalper, Jake. Then Robert went all-in with AQ, and he'd have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for those pesky 10's that Jake was dealt. All-in, then all-out - yep, that's poker.
Heads up, battle-hardened Jake's offer to split was refused, leaving him looking for his 5th scalp of the day from Steve (who looks like he's already been scalped, although that's not in the book of revelations). Those victories were all testament to Jake's solid play, but Steve had German virgins in the end (forgive me, Lord - or is that Lady?) and made his exodus sailing away with them (and first place) in a boat.
Sinner! Sinner! Chicken dinner!